


Breaking Point

by SMANGST



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Death, Heavy Angst, Implied Character Death, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-23
Updated: 2013-05-23
Packaged: 2017-12-12 17:06:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/813945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SMANGST/pseuds/SMANGST
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam blames himself for everything and sees only one way to escape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking Point

Sam couldn't understand that he was Dean's everything, always had been.

All he knew was that it was his fault, all of it. Everything that had happened, beginning when he was only a baby, all of it was because of him. It didn't matter that he had no control over what had happened that night in 1983, what mattered is it did happen, and it happened because of him. Because he was chosen. Their mother was dead because of him, their father had been hellbent on revenge, had raised them to be killers, hunters, so-called heroes with a taste for supernatural blood. 

Sam's fault. 

He'd been recruited by Azazel to lead the army out of Hell when the door was opened. He was the vessel for Lucifer, for crying out loud. He'd caused the apocalypse, and even though he'd given his life to stop it, it wasn't enough. Nothing would ever be enough. It would never end. It all piled up, had been piling up for the past 29 years. 

And now... now, Dean had returned from Purgatory. Sam had been attempting to let it all go, to feel normal, to feel human, to feel -- God help him-- GOOD. He'd tried to leave the past behind, but it wasn't possible anymore. No matter what he did, he was hurting someone, and more often than not, that someone was Dean, his big brother, the one he'd looked up to his whole life. He couldn't bear it. Not anymore. 

He knew it was a coward's way out, but what choice did he have? This was the only thing he could do to protect Dean, to protect others. He couldn't just quit the life; he'd tried that more than once, but the life always found him and pulled him back in somehow, whether via a cruel twist of fate or via the hands of his brother. No, he had to die. The hurt Dean would feel would fade. It would be better than what would happen if he went on. 

The act itself was easy enough; a sharp blade made quick work of his wrists, the veins cut to ribbons and blood flowing effortlessly from them. And the pain was minimal, something he'd grown accustomed to after all this time, honestly. He merely felt... light-headed... as the world turned red around him. Eyes closed. Pulse slowed. Blackness.

Two lives ended that day. Purgatory, a land of monsters, had spat one right back out, and as hard as he'd tried, Dean had been struggling to become Dean again. After all, it was Sam who'd kept him human. 

Sam had never understood that he was Dean's everything, and always had been.


End file.
